Self-development Archives | The Rakstar https://therakstar.com/category/self-development Mon, 24 Mar 2025 21:01:34 +0000 en-US hourly 1 234727145 Why Not Me? https://therakstar.com/why-not-me Mon, 24 Mar 2025 21:00:51 +0000 https://therakstar.com/?p=3582

Why not you? You’re powerful, worthy, and ready to rise—no matter what life throws your way. 💫

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A Self-Guide to Believing You Can Achieve—No Matter What Life Throws at You

Let’s get real for a second.

Life doesn’t always hand you the perfect script. Sometimes it hands you chaos, curveballs and a whole lot of “Why me?” moments. But here’s the shift:

What if you asked, “Why not me?”

That question changes everything. It moves you from self-pity to self-power. From stuck to unstoppable.

1. You Are Not Your Circumstances

You are not your job title, your past mistakes, your bank account or the people who didn’t believe in you.

You are potential. Power. Purpose.

Your story is still being written—so pick up the pen and write away Rakstars. 

2. The Dream is Yours for a Reason

You didn’t randomly wake up with a dream in your heart.
That vision? That fire? That whisper of “there’s more for me”?

It’s yours because you’re meant to chase it.
Own it. Pursue it like your life depends on it—because the best version of you does.

3. Resilience is Your Superpower

Every setback is a setup.
Every “no” is making room for a bigger “yes.”

Every tear, every lesson, every late night grinding when no one’s watching—it’s shaping you into someone unstoppable.

4. Someone Out There is Waiting for You

Your story, your voice, your dream—it matters.
There’s someone who needs your light, your courage, your example.
You showing up for you gives someone else permission to believe in themselves.

So next time life hits you with the doubt and the fear: 

Rise tall.
Take a deep breath.
Look in the mirror and say:
“Why NOT me?”

Because you’re not just capable.
You’re chosen.
You’re ready.
You’re a Rakstar—and Rakstars rise. 🌟

Why Not Me?
Photo by Anna Tarazevich

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]]> 3582 Spring Reset: How to Get Back on Track (Without the Guilt) https://therakstar.com/spring-reset-how-to-get-back-on-track-without-the-guilt Mon, 24 Mar 2025 20:42:23 +0000 https://therakstar.com/?p=3571 Spring Reset: How to Get Back on Track (Without the Guilt)

A fresh start for your goals—because spring is the real new year, and it’s never too late to begin again.

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Let’s be honest: the new year started strong. You had goals. A fresh planner. Big energy.

But then life happened.
Work got busy. You got tired. And your routine? It kinda disappeared.

Here’s the truth:
You didn’t fail. You’re just human.

And lucky for us, spring is the perfect time to hit reset. More light, more energy, more motivation to grow into the version of yourself you actually want to be.

January may come with fresh planners and audacious goals, but by March? Life has usually had other plans. Work gets hectic, your motivation dips and suddenly that “New year, New me” energy has turned into “just trying to keep up.” Cue the motivational music.

But here’s the good news—spring is the real new beginning. Nature’s hitting reset and you can too.

Why Spring Is the Perfect Time to Start Over

Unlike the cold, dark gloomy days of winter, spring brings light, warmth and an abundance of energy. It’s the season of growth, renewal and the start of blooming flowers, which makes it the perfect time to realign with your goals and routines. You’re not behind—you’re just getting started again and that’s okay Rakstars. 

Here’s how to make the most of it:

1. Audit your goals (without judgment)

Ask yourself: Do these goals still serve me?
If not, let them go. No shame. Just space for what does matter.

Start by checking in with your goals. Not to upset yourself, but to assess what’s still important. Some goals might not even fit your life anymore (life changes) and that’s normal. Give yourself permission to let those go. Find new goals and don’t be so hard on yourself. 

2. Simplify your routine

If your morning or evening routine feels overwhelming, simplify it. You don’t need a 12-step regimen. Start with 1 or 2 habits that actually make you feel grounded, like 10 minutes of movement, journaling or just getting to bed on time. Small changes accumulate over time and before you know it you will get there. 


Stop trying to do everything. Focus on 1–2 habits that make you feel grounded, like:

  • Moving your body for 10 minutes
  • Journaling a few thoughts each morning
  • Getting to bed 30 minutes earlier (stop doom scrolling)                           

3. Think in Mini Goals

Instead of giant year-long resolutions, set 30-day intentions. It’s less pressure and more motivating. Want to get back into reading? Try 10 pages a day for a month. Thinking of working out again? Aim for 3 days a week in April and see how you feel.

Swap “yearly resolutions” for 30-day intentions.
Less pressure, more momentum.

4. Refresh your space + mindset (focus on the new season)

Spring is the time to freshen up your space and your schedule. Try meal-prepping lighter, seasonal foods. Open the windows, clear the clutter (stuff we think we need but don’t – it’s time to let it go) and make room—physically and mentally—for what’s next (great things are coming, we can feel it).


Open the windows. Tidy up. Eat seasonal foods. Make space—physically and mentally—for the new version of you. That’s right, Rakstar! We see you becoming the best version of yourself!

5. Forgive the detour

Falling off track doesn’t mean giving up. Resetting is a form of self-trust.

The truth is, progress isn’t linear. You might have been on track in January and derailed by February. Life happens. Resetting isn’t failure—it’s resilience. You are the protagonist of your story and just like any hero – setbacks occur, so don’t get upset with yourself. 

 

Remember Rakstars

You don’t need to wait until next January to try again.
Spring is your fresh start. Take the first step and let it grow from there.

Spring is your invitation to reconnect with your goals, your routine and yourself. Small steps count. So open a window, breathe in that fresh air and take the first one.

You’ve got time. You’ve got space. You’ve got this Rakstars.

Spring Reset: How to Get Back on Track (Without the Guilt)
Photo by Yessi Trex

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]]> 3571 Top 10 Mantras to Live By for Success, Confidence and Our Inner Peace https://therakstar.com/top-10-mantras Fri, 28 Feb 2025 17:55:29 +0000 https://therakstar.com/?p=3558 The Rakstar Top 10 mantras we swear by

Empower your mindset and transform your daily life with these 10 powerful mantras that inspire confidence, resilience, and inner peace.

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Mantras are powerful affirmations that shape your mindset, boost confidence  and bring a sense of calm to your daily life. Whether you’re seeking motivation, clarity, or resilience, the right mantra can be a game-changer. So why not try it, Rakstars!

Here are 10 mantras we swear by—use them daily and watch how they shift your energy and transform your mindset!

1. “I am becoming the best version of myself every day.”

Growth is a journey, not a destination. This mantra reminds you to embrace progress over perfection and celebrate small wins along the way.

2. “Everything I desire is already on its way to me.”

This affirmation reinforces the power of manifestation and abundance. Believe that the opportunities, success and happiness you seek are already aligning for you.

3. “I release what I cannot control and focus on what I can.”

Let go of unnecessary stress and focus on what truly matters. This mantra helps shift your energy from worry to action.

4. “I radiate confidence, self-love and positive energy.”

Your thoughts shape your reality—so why not affirm confidence and joy? Repeat this daily to embody self-assurance and attract positivity.

5. “I am resilient, strong and capable of handling anything.”

Tough days happen, but your mindset determines how you overcome them. This mantra reminds you that you have the strength to face challenges head-on.

6. “I am worthy of success, love and happiness.”

You don’t need to earn your worthiness—it’s already yours. You are a Rakstar! Use this mantra to silence self-doubt and embrace the abundance you deserve.

7. “I choose peace over worry, joy over fear and love over doubt.”

This mantra is all about intentional choices. Every moment, you have the power to shift your mindset toward positivity.

8. “Success flows to me effortlessly because I take aligned action.”

Hard work is important, but so is working with intention. This mantra reminds you that when you take action with purpose, success follows.

9. “I trust the timing of my life and embrace the journey.”

Patience is key. Instead of rushing the process, trust that everything is unfolding exactly as it should.

10. “I wake up every day with purpose, gratitude and excitement.”

Your morning mindset shapes your entire day. Start with this mantra to set a powerful, positive tone for everything that follows.

Remember Rakstars,

Mantras are more than just words—they’re a mindset shift. Repeat these daily, write them in your journal, or set them as reminders on your phone.

Which mantra resonates with you the most? Let us know! Reach out via email or the Contact Us Page! 

✨

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]]> 3558 30 Daily Journal Prompts for January to Unlock Self-Discovery https://therakstar.com/30-daily-journal-prompts-january Sat, 25 Jan 2025 21:32:50 +0000 https://therakstar.com/?p=3493 30 Daily Journal Prompts for January

Kick off the new year with clarity and purpose!

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As we step into the New Year, let’s take some time to reconnect with ourselves and set intentions for the months ahead. Here are 30 journal prompts, one for each day of January, to help you start the year with clarity and purpose.

Week 1: Reflect and Reset

  1. What was your favourite moment from last year?
  2. What challenges did you overcome in the past year?
  3. How do you want to feel in 2025?
  4. What are three things you’re most grateful for right now?
  5. What habits do you want to let go of this year?
  6. What habits would you like to cultivate instead?
  7. Write down your top three priorities for the year.

Week 2: Dream Big

  1. If you could achieve one big goal this year, what would it be?
  2. What’s something new you’d like to try this month?
  3. Describe your ideal day from morning to night.
  4. What’s one place you want to visit this year, and why?
  5. What’s your dream job, and what steps can you take toward it?
  6. Who inspires you, and what can you learn from them?
  7. If failure wasn’t an option, what would you do?

Week 3: Self-Discovery

  1. What does self-care look like for you?
  2. What’s a skill you’d like to learn or improve?
  3. What’s one thing that brings you joy, and how can you do it more often?
  4. Describe a time when you felt truly proud of yourself.
  5. What limiting beliefs are holding you back, and how can you challenge them?
  6. What does success mean to you?
  7. Write a letter to your future self one year from now.

Week 4: Gratitude and Growth

  1. List five things you love about yourself.
  2. What’s something small but meaningful you’ve accomplished recently?
  3. Who has supported you recently, and how can you show them gratitude?
  4. What’s one lesson you learned last year that you want to carry forward?
  5. What’s one thing you can do this week to step outside your comfort zone?
  6. Write about a time when you showed kindness to someone else.
  7. What are three things you can do to make your life more enjoyable?

Final Days: January Wrap-Up

  1. What went well for you this month?
  2. What’s one thing you want to focus on as February begins?

 

Feel free to revisit these prompts anytime you need clarity or inspiration. Journaling is your space to dream, reflect, and grow—so grab your notebook, find a cozy spot and let your thoughts flow. Happy writing Rakstars! 



30 Daily Journal Prompts for January
Photo by Vlada Karpovich

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]]> 3493 How to Make Friends at Work: 10 Quick & Easy Tips https://therakstar.com/how-to-make-friends-at-work Sat, 25 Jan 2025 20:28:00 +0000 https://therakstar.com/?p=3480 How to Make Friends at Work! 10 Quick & Easy Tips

Not sure where to start? From simple smiles to coffee chats, our tips will help you connect. Say hello to a happier workday!

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Making friends at school was so easy when we were little. We smiled at each other, saw what they were playing with and asked if we could join them on the slides. All was fine in the world. But when making friends at work, it can be daunting. You don’t know them at all! What brings them to work besides a paycheck is out of the question. School was easy since we were all grouped by age. So how do we make friends at work? 

Making friends at work can make your 9-to-5 (or longer) life a whole lot brighter. Whether you’re starting a new job or trying to break out of your shyness, work friends don’t have to feel awkward. Just take a look at Selling Sunset, Selling the OC or Selling the City on Netflix. It’s all about work + friends + (a whole lot of drama!). But ignore the drama for now!

Here are some ways to help you make friends at work.  

1. Smile like a Star

Start with a smile Like when we were young. This sounds simple right? But it works. Smiling makes you feel more approachable. Passing someone in the hall or in the break room or in the common space, a smile can set the stage for friendly interactions. 

2. Say Hi

Don’t be shy and wait for others to come to you. Just say Hi! But don’t just say Hi and then suddenly leave. Say “Hi! How’s it going?” Start the conversation – see where it leads. See if the person wants to communicate. These small exchanges can grow into deeper conversations – maybe you find out that they are going ice skating on the weekend and well you love ice skating. Find a common connection.

3. Bond Over Coffee or Lunch

As you make conversations with co-workers, you have a feel of who you would like to talk more with…so invite a co-worker to grab a coffee with you or sit together at lunch. A casual setting outside the office vibe often makes people more open and relaxed. Plus, who doesn’t bond over food?

4. Offer Compliments (Genuinely)

Be kind to others – genuinely. If you compliment someone at work, whether it’s their great presentation or their desk plant. Whatever the case may be – a genuine compliment can break the ice and bring you closer. 

“I enjoyed your presentation.”

“Really, thanks. I was a bit nervous.”

“You killed it, I couldn’t tell.”

“Thanks. I’m glad you liked it. Listen, I have to do another presentation, do you mind if I do a practice run with you?”

“Of course, we can chat about it at lunch?”

“Awesome. Thanks!”

5. Find Common Ground

Discover shared interests by asking open-ended questions:

  • “Have you seen any good movies lately?”
  • “What do you like to do for fun?”
  • Any favourite restaurants you recommend?
  • What books have you been reading? I really like…

Chances are, you’ll find something to connect on, whether it’s your favourite television shows, hobbies, or sports teams.

6. Participate in Office Events 

Who said office events were boring? Okay maybe…well it depends on who’s organizing it. A lecture on understanding the Science of Geology. Snooze Fest! Unless you are so totally into it, then go for it. You will meet people with the same interest as you. But we’re talking team lunches, book clubs, office yoga sessions and even office parties. Getting involved in social activities can help you meet people organically. Bond over some party games, or the chapter of a book and well – there you go – you found someone who you can talk to. Chances are you may have some similar interests.  

7. Lend a Helping Hand

Let’s just say someone is drowning in work. They are constantly working late and seem overwhelmed. Ask them if you can offer to help. Small acts of kindness can leave a lasting impression and show that you’re a team player. This helps with team morale and it’s just overall nice. 

8. Share (a Little) About Yourself

Building friendships requires give and take. Share small snippets about your weekend plans, pets or favourite pastimes. This invites others to do the same, paving the way for connection. If you start talking about yourself, so will others. These connections help build stronger bonds. 

9. Be Consistent

Friendships don’t form overnight. Keep showing up for those casual chats, coffee breaks, or group outings. Consistency builds trust and strengthens bonds. The more someone sees you – the more likely they will start a conversation and want to hang out with you during work. Maybe work on a project together or go to office parties together instead of being on your own. It definitely helps make the job a little less boring. 

10. Respect Boundaries

Lastly, not everyone is looking for work friendships and that’s okay. Be mindful of how people respond to your efforts and adjust accordingly. If someone doesn’t want to speak, don’t push them. They can be shy or just not looking for any friends. And that’s okay. Speak to a group of people and see who is accepting your conversations and want to converse. They are probably looking for a work friend too. 

Finally, 

Making friends at work doesn’t have to feel like a chore. By being approachable, taking small steps and showing genuine interest in others, you’ll build meaningful connections before you know it. And remember—every great friendship starts with a simple “Hi!” So, go ahead, give it a try. Don’t be too hard on yourself and remember it takes time. It’s not a one shot thing. 

Go for it Rakstars!

How to Make Friends at Work! 10 Quick & Easy Tips
Photo by Christina Morillo

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]]> 3480 5 Game-Changing Lessons I Learned from Vanderpump Rules That Will Transform Your Life https://therakstar.com/top-lessons-from-vanderpump-rules Sun, 25 Aug 2024 23:24:00 +0000 https://therakstar.com/?p=3209

When you think of reality TV, lessons about life might not be the first thing that comes to mind but rather the fights, unpredictable outcomes and a whole lot of gossip. You know you are in for a treat! Vanderpump Rules is one of those shows that you know you love but amidst the secrets […]

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When you think of reality TV, lessons about life might not be the first thing that comes to mind but rather the fights, unpredictable outcomes and a whole lot of gossip. You know you are in for a treat! Vanderpump Rules is one of those shows that you know you love but amidst the secrets and lies, friendship drama and unforgettable moments, hot dishes of life lessons are served. Over the many many seasons, here are the top 5 valuable lessons that I’ve learnt from the cast that resonate beyond the screen. Who knew that watching reality TV can be so educational.

Because we’re good as gold!

Because we’re good as gold!

1. Be Unapologetically You

Yes, that’s right. Be you but without the violence! One of the most memorable scenes in Vanderpump Rules is when Stassi confronts Kristen and ends up slapping her. While the slap itself became infamous, the moment is something that lies much deeper in the surface: the importance of being unapologetically true to oneself. Stassi’s actions, though extreme (we do not agree with the action taken), reflected her commitment to her own values and feelings. She wasn’t afraid to stand up for herself, even though it was done in a very harsh way.

However, the main point taken from this – hopefully no one is in the same situation as Kristen and Stassi were, but it’s crucial to embrace who you are without fear of judgment. When you are authentic to yourself, this attracts the right people and opportunities into your life. Just like Stassi, who never ever shies away from expressing herself, we too can find power in our own identities. It’s about knowing your worth, what you stand for and not letting anyone dim your light. Remember you are ambient!

Stassi Schroeder: Stassi has always been known for saying what she strongly believes in as well as her no-nonsense attitude. She’s unapologetically herself, it doesn’t matter how it’s perceived – she is who she is with love for all things spooky (like her scary birthday parties) or setting up her friends when they have betrayed her. 

Lala Kent: Lala has been unapologetically herself since she joined the show. Lala doesn’t hold back. She will call you out when she believes others are not themselves and are putting on a show persona. She’s so confident that she doesn’t let anyone else’s opinions make or break her.

James Kennedy: Love him or hate him, he says what he says when he says it. With all his mistakes and his constant self-improvement, he is still being himself no matter what. 

Stassi slaps Kristen

 

2. Loyalty is Everything

There is definitely no loyalty when it comes to dating – even partners who seem the strongest – loyalty is not one of their strengths but when it comes to friendships – we can actually see loyalty. Girls trip! Get togethers and a whole lot of hang outs happen through the course of the seasons. One thing we can all agree on, is the camaraderie among the women of Vanderpump Rules is iconic when they are all happy with each other. This sense of loyalty they have to each other takes prominence. It becomes enjoyable to watch when everyone gets along – especially when the Vanderpump girls cheer each other on through thick and thin. Loyalty isn’t just a word—it’s a way of life.

Loyalty is the foundation of a strong relationship whether it’s family, friends, significant others, or colleagues. Taking care and standing with the people you care about even when times get tough helps build trust and strengthens relationships, creating a support system that can weather any storm. 

Lisa Vanderpump’s Loyalty to Her Staff: Lisa Vanderpump has often shown loyalty to her employees even when they face personal issues. She is always there to give them advice, help and even listen to their situations. This has earned her the employee’s respect and loyalty.

Scheana Shay, Ariana Madix, Lala Kent and Katie Maloney support each other: Even though their friendships are not always rainbows and sunshine, they all offered support for Scheana when she gave birth to her daughter Summer Moon. Even Lala and Scheana, who have had disagreements in the past, put all that aside and bonded over their new roles as mothers. 

3. Communicate Clearly

This is the bread and butter of any reality show. Whispers float in the air only to be catched by someone who often manipulates the truth, stretching it out to a vicious gossip floating their boat or need I say yacht (Real Housewives, anyone?). 

In Vanderpump Rules, misunderstandings and drama are the main course of why this show is so addicting. Even the scandals which often arise from a lack of clear communication. It seems like the truth is extinct. Everything is covered with lies. Scandoval! But we are all too familiar with this example. So let’s resort to another prime example when James Kennedy was completely upset after Brock wanted to get married to Scheana during his engagement party with Lala spilling the beans. The situation became even messier with confrontation, leading to hurt feelings and tension.

Lala Kent Hiding Her Relationship: Lala Kent faced constant gossip about her relationship with Randall. She kept it hidden which led to speculation and a whole lot of stares. She had to communicate clearly to the cast about the truth of her relationship as the speculation intensified.

Brittany Confronts Jax About Faith Rumors: When Brittany heard the rumors that Jax had cheated on her with Faith and then heard the recording, she directly confronted him which got her the truth. She didn’t hold back and got the truth, finally. 

This serves as a reminder of the importance of clear and thoughtful communication. When you’re sharing news (important one for that matter) or navigating a certain situation, how you communicate can make all the difference. It’s not just about what you say, but also about how, when and where you say it. Effective communication can prevent misunderstandings and ensure that everyone (everyone!) is on the same page. This lesson can be applied to everything from personal relationships to professional settings. This incident is a reminder on how to avoid unnecessary drama and foster a more positive calm environment.

James Confronts Brock About His Secret Wedding Plans

 

4. Rise Above Challenges

Life isn’t always a smooth sail and Vanderpump Rules proves that. With the ups and downs, scandals and cheaters, the cast faces the most unpredictable shocking discoveries. These moments are a powerful reminder that no matter how tough things get, no matter who’s side anyone is on – we have the strength to rise above our challenges when things get hard. 

Lala’s Sobriety Journey: Lala’s decision to be sober was definitely a significant challenge, even though the group was known to have a good time in a party-heavy environment. She openly discussed her decision and took the right steps to achieve her goal. 

Scheana’s Divorce: Scheana Shay’s divorce from Mike Shay was hard for her. Even though she was still working at SUR and filming the show, she went through a difficult and emotional process.

In our own lives, we’re often faced with difficulties – getting thrown in the mud and stressed out too many times. Whether it’s a personal setback, a professional hurdle or a legal battle, the key is to keep pushing forward. The resilience shown by Scheana and Lala is something we can all learn from. Finding your inner strength to overcome any obstacles. It’s time to focus on solutions rather than dwelling on problems, you can rise above the challenge and be the rockstar you were born to be. 

5. Embrace Change

Change (Not what you find in between the cushions of your couch) is a constant theme in Vanderpump Rules. This is evident in the journeys of Ariana Madix and Katie Maloney. After parting ways with the Toms (Tom Sandoval and Tom Schwartz), these two strong women not only embraced change but also thrived in it. Woohoo! Together, they opened a sandwich shop, showing that they are better off solo. 

This shows us that change can be the catalyst for growth and better opportunities but embracing change isn’t easy. It’s hard and it takes time for growth which can be worrisome but all in all – just have to let time run its course and hope for the best. Ariana and Katie’s journey reminds us that when we let go of what no longer serves us, we make room for new and better possibilities. Okay so maybe we are not opening up a sandwich shop or getting the chance to be on Dancing with the stars but change can help us in a career shift, the end of a relationship, or starting a new venture. Embracing change allows us to evolve and transform our lives in ways we never thought we could.

Ariana Madix & Katie Maloney's Sandwich Shop

 

So there you have it Rakstars, Vanderpump Rules, the reality show that’s packed with drama, also offers us lessons that can inspire and teach us in our own lives. From being unapologetically yourself to embracing change, the lessons learnt from this reality show can serve as a guide, reminding us to stay true to ourselves, value loyalty, communicate clearly, rise above challenges and welcome the changes that life inevitably brings. Vanderpump Rules is better than a textbook!

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]]> 3209 Journaling: Lost and Unsettled  https://therakstar.com/journaling-lost-and-unsettled Sun, 04 Aug 2024 18:19:08 +0000 https://therakstar.com/?p=3172

I never felt so lost before and so unsettled. Who said being an adult was easy? When we were young, all we wanted to do was to grow up. Have no one tell us what to do, make our own decisions and do whatever we want. But who said that was easy. Life grown up […]

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I never felt so lost before and so unsettled. Who said being an adult was easy? When we were young, all we wanted to do was to grow up. Have no one tell us what to do, make our own decisions and do whatever we want. But who said that was easy. Life grown up may just be as miserable as when we were told no as a kid because now we are telling ourselves no to something because we know it’s not the right decision, whether it’s a career, relationships, or even eating ice cream before dinner. How do we get out of the rut? Feeling so unsettled! Does it ever go away? Does it ever get better? 

I feel so much better writing. Maybe that’s why I love writing stories. But what’s the point of writing if it can’t be shared. Take a leap of faith and now I am here in front of you as you read this! 

The best way for me to get out of a rut and try to move one, is journaling. Journaling has been a journey of self-reflection, thoughts and moods. Although I’m not consistent, it still helps to find a moment of calmness. Eliminating any noise and distraction, it gives me five minutes of peace and tranquility.  

With journaling, I can express my thoughts, challenges and even some ideas – turning a blank page into a scribbled document – well, that’s encouraging. With the everyday struggles of life, sometimes it’s easier to undermine your mind and just keep going, ignoring the build up of feelings whether it’s anxiety, depression or frustration. When you pick up the pen and write you can put your thoughts in order – decluttering your mind. From the very first word you write, to the very end of your sentence – you will see a pattern forming, thoughts developing and solutions become clearer. This brings you a sense of calm within the chaos. In every word that you write, you are present, reflecting on the day’s events and it makes you appreciate something. With journaling, you are taking the first step to a positive approach for your mental wellbeing by being mindfully aware. Moreover, you have released your inner creativity – journaling is not all about words but it can be about doodles and sketches or even the array of colours you chose to write with. You can brainstorm your ideas, write down your dreams and plan your next big thing. 

I love using a journal that is nice to look at. It makes the writing experience more fun. But not only that, smooth gel pens turn up the creative flow.

Remember Rakstars, journaling is personal and it will evolve each time. You become self-discoverable – bring you clarity, creativity and mindfulness. So what are you waiting for Rakstars, grab a favourite journal, pick up your colourful pens and let the pages soak in ink. 

Journaling: Lost & Unsettled
Photo by Keenan Constance

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]]> 3172 It’s Me, Hi, I’m the problem, It’s Me – 5 Realistic Ways to Actually Manage Stress (No fluff) https://therakstar.com/how-to-manage-stress Sun, 28 Jul 2024 22:34:15 +0000 https://therakstar.com/?p=2954 Employees stressed

Hello Rakstars, Cue Taylor Swift: It’s me, hi, I’m the problem, it’s meDo you find that ringing in your ears during crunch time through a stressful period? Never feeling good enough. It can be during work year end files are just popping through your inbox like spam mail during a festive parade and your boss keeps […]

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Hello Rakstars, 

Cue Taylor Swift: It’s me, hi, I’m the problem, it’s me

Do you find that ringing in your ears during crunch time through a stressful period? Never feeling good enough. It can be during work year end files are just popping through your inbox like spam mail during a festive parade and your boss keeps on micromanaging, dictating that the spreadsheet is not right and you just can’t take it anymore. You turn to your colleagues but you don’t even see them because they are just whining through their tasks. Are you really the problem? 

In a time of struggle to make it to the deadline date or just through the day with someone watching over you, it can seem like at times that you are the problem. You can’t do things right and you are not capable of completing whatever the task may be correctly. It could simply be – peeling a banana and you hate yourself because you didn’t peel it right? (Is there really a correct way to peel a banana – top or bottom, so long you eat it right?)

We get caught up in our minds. Our minds become our anti-hero or even the villain. It makes us feel defeated because if our boss says something bad about our work, a colleague makes a snarky remark or just the pile of work is too long and we can’t accomplish our to do list – our state of mind rolls down the hill into the dump and just sits in the garbage. We smell the rusty old dirt and that’s it – we stay in the mindset. We can’t handle it anymore and we turn against ourselves. We don’t even defend ourselves from ourselves. If someone called us incompetent or made us feel like one – we agree instantly. No push back. We simply stare at the wall, with a huge frown and agree. 

But you are not incompetent – you feel like it because you feel hurt, sad, insecure, unstable, a mix of battling emotions and darkness tends to win.  

So how do we possibly manage stress during busy season? 

Exercise!

Wait! Don’t leave, keep reading. This is not your typical exercise get fit routine. This is the exercise routine of just walking with your head up high even though you don’t feel like it or it’s taking yoru anger and frustration and moving vigorously on the elliptical. Either way, move yoru body. Take a dance break and put up your type of music on full blast and dance it out. Pretend your own stage with your full Beyonce outfit and get grooving. There is no time to stop, just move. Moving allows you to really feel present. So move it or lose it! Literally. 

Singing!

So you don’t have to have an Adele voice to sing. Go to your bathroom, lock the door, taking out your hairbrush and sing to your favorite song. Just feeling and gratifying that sense of emotion that is on your shoulders, makes you feel better. It really does. Turn up the music or sing a capella. Either way, enlighten your soul. Make yourself feel better. 

Writing!

You don’t have to write thanks or a to do list. Simply just writing rants can really help to alleviate your stress and just feel better. Don’t like what happened or maybe you hated what someone said. Just make sure to not write a burn book. Spread kindness and positivity! After you have written your rant, you feel lighter, the world is more sunnier and it looks like it’s an ice cream type of day unless your lactose intolerant than vegan ice cream is just as great! 

Sleeping!

Who said naps were just for kids? Naps are great for us to calm down, wind down and just forget about our troubles temporarily. When we are so caught up in the moment, there is a feeling of fear, nervousness and bogged downness. Whatever it may be – sleep helps us to heal ourselves, by giving us a clear mind and sometimes we even solve our solutions in our sleep!

Take a Break!

There is such a thing as burnout. If you have never felt it – lucky you but if you had it and didn’t realize what it was – let’s just say it’s like putting a pot on a gas stove, watching the burners burn. Burn out can happen and before it occurs, we must tell our bodies and especially our mind that we need a break. Jump on the couch and watch Netflix. Or go hang out with some friends. Maybe spend time with your family. And if all those don’t look like suitable options – volunteer at a retirement home and bring joy to people’s faces. Taking a break is not defeat. It is the best solution when you are not feeling yourself. You need to unwind, enjoy your time and spread out fun. 

Remember Rakstars, don’t get caught up in all the seriousness. Make sure you recognize when you feel a bit off and help remedy the steps you need to take before you are thrown off balance. Whether you are juggling your career, personal life and relationships – you need to prioritize yourself, because without you – you can’t really do much can you. So don’t forget to love yourself and smile on. 

Employees stressed
Photo by cottonbro studio

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]]> 2954 What is Scarier? (Job Interview or Social Media) https://therakstar.com/job-interview-or-social-media Sun, 28 Jul 2024 22:22:50 +0000 https://therakstar.com/?p=2942 Woman going for a job interview

Rakstars, what is scarier going for a job interview or posting pictures on social media for the whole world to see? A job interview is nothing like presenting a project to your school mates. It is life or death. The moment you wake up, hesitate each and every single thought you have in your head. Second […]

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Anticipate, Deliberate and Meditate

Rakstars, what is scarier going for a job interview or posting pictures on social media for the whole world to see? 

A job interview is nothing like presenting a project to your school mates. It is life or death. The moment you wake up, hesitate each and every single thought you have in your head. Second guess your outfit that you chose, hate your skin because it’s not glowing and self-talk yourself down. You anticipate, deliberate and mediate. The world is turned upside down. Why? Because you want the job, you want to be that person. That person whose dreams come true. Could this actually be your dream job or is it a stepping stone to what you actually want? Either way anxiety fills in, you can’t breathe and on top of it all – the interviewers scare the heck out of you. Some are friendly but you can’t help to notice they are too friendly – are they waiting for you to fail, choke up or cough up? What about the rude ones? They think that they are better than their whole team, sneering at you the whole time, like a ghoul or a reptile? They want you to go red in the face, feel incompetent and hate yourself. What about the dreaded question, the one that is so important yet the most awkward? Salary! 

In a world of people, who strive to do their very best. Job hunting and job searching are stressful. When you get the call for the interview, your heart races. The day of the interview – you can’t breathe. When you get the call to determine if you made it or not – or they will just ghost you – you feel like a failure. What is it with job interviews? Can’t we make them fun. 

Sure we can. Rakstars, at the end of the day, job interviews don’t have to be scary. They are scary because we make them scary. Our perceptions, movie scenes and talks with other people – are dramatized. If you live in a world where job interviews are like going to the candy store – do you feel a sense of relief? Do you feel better and happier to go? If only it was that easy. 

Posting pictures on social media for the whole world to see is something of scariness. Yes, it’s scary to post a picture because we are self-obsessed with ourselves. How many likes, hearts, follows and reposts? Who knew statistics became everyone’s new math. You take a picture, you look at it and you hate it, You take another one and another one – only to critique every part of yourself and not the background. Then eventually, you blame it on poor lighting, stick a filter and you are ready to post. But before you post, your heart races, anxiety fills your lungs and now you anticipate, deliberate and meditate. The world is turned upside down. Why? Because you want the picture to do well, you want to be that person. That person who has a cool instagram account. 

Can a picture not do well? You know what we mean. Then you wait for those hate comments to soar in like a boxing day rush. You are scared to read what people are saying about you. You don’t know them but yet they believe they know you incredibly well. It hurts, not going to lie. 

When you post the picture – your heart races, when people comment – you can’t breathe. When you see the hate comments from strangers saying random hurtful things which are not true but yet those words are published on their account directed at you, like an arrow – you feel like a failure. What is it with social media? Can’t we make them fun. 

People can bring us down, people can control our lives – whether we get the job or whether we get the like. But that’s just one side of our brain thinking. What about the other side? If we don’t get the job, it wasn’t meant for us. It’s not the end of the world, we have better things to do with our lives, different directions we want to go and taller heights to reach. So what if people hate our picture, do we like it ourselves? Of course we did. We posted it because we were happy with it. If people don’t see it the way we see it, then it’s on them, not on you. Liking the picture yourself is the real prize, not that others like it or not. 

Practicing failure is the ultimate tool, but in order to practice it – you must experience and experience is the greatest teacher. 

But when we don’t have the opportunity to practice, there are other ways to solve through the scariness of the world. 

Lady posting a picture on Social Media

 

Anticipate, Deliberate and Meditate

Anticipate

Mind thoughts thinking and worrying, jumping up and down like a kids bouncy castle. Thoughts race and mind is exerted. Note to yourself: You are not a fortune teller, so why act like something bad is about to happen? 

Deliberate

Long careful reasons flood the head, going back and forth, back and forth. You become self-conscious. But you are aware that your thoughts are actually thoughts, not reality. You realize you are not a fortune teller and can’t predict the outcome. 

Meditate

You are thinking but not thinking. You have had enough of your thoughts. You spray cold water on your face and sit and stare out the window. Silence is good, silence is nice. Maybe you like to listen to music, play your favourite song and just forget about what was so scary in the first place. You relax. 

 Rakstars, in times of distress, please use the Anticipate, Deliberate and Mediate (ADM) method. I find that it works. Even when you try to ignore those useless thoughts in your head, your brain works harder to annoy you. So entertain it for a quick second, but change to deliberate and then mediate. You are stronger than you think you are. Scarieness is not scariness – they are just things that we go through in life for life to be life. Either way, it takes time. It’s a marathon, not a sprint. We are here for you, cheering you on from the sideline. Now go and win! But first, 

What is scarier, going for a job interview or posting pictures on social media for the whole world to see? 

 Do something that scares you today!

Let me know in the comments below, what scares you? 

Woman going for a job interview
Photo by Tima Miroshnichenko
Lady posting a picture on Social Media
Photo by Anastasia Shuraeva

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]]> 2942 How to Manage Stress at the Workplace? https://therakstar.com/managing-stress-at-the-workplace Sun, 28 Jul 2024 22:12:09 +0000 https://therakstar.com/?p=2934 photo of people doing handshakes

Do you always feel stressed when you work? Too many deadlines, an annoying boss, not feeling fulfilled? What about no kindness? No thank you, just demands and orders and no humaness shown with your boss, your co-workers or Frankie the receptionist. What’s up with that? There’s more of a chance of singing trees than a boss […]

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Do you always feel stressed when you work?

Too many deadlines, an annoying boss, not feeling fulfilled?

What about no kindness?

No thank you, just demands and orders and no humaness shown with your boss, your co-workers or Frankie the receptionist. What’s up with that? 

There’s more of a chance of singing trees than a boss saying “Thank you. Well done. Superb! Excellent. Keep up the good work.” Instead they are like Hell’s Kitchen, creating fires and spreading them across office politics. Don’t get me started. 

In a time where self-care is more important than anything else, we often find ourselves, setting ourselves as the least priority. But in order to be effective and efficient at work and at life, self-care is as important as brushing your teeth in the morning. Please don’t tell me you skip that? Do you? I hope not! 

 

How to Manage Your stress?

Identify your stressors

What are your stressors? Is it your boss’s manners, your coworkers’ incompetence or the fact that no one really cares and they all just pass the work like a baton of self-indulgence? Figure out what they are and write it down.

Time

For a week or two, place a checkmark each time your stressor occurs. This will ensure, you know that something is actually stressing you out compared to just a one off. 

Condense

Narrow your stressors to the top 3 – if there is 3, hopefully, it’s one or maybe two, but if it’s more, just narrow it down to 3, Rome wasn’t built in a day. 

Take a look

Read your stressor out loud to yourself in front of the mirror (make sure you are alone, don’t want anyone to hear.) Repeat it to yourself. Does it make you cringe? Feel exhausted or just plain shivers run down your spine. 

Mindfulness

These stressors are challenges, just like in work, you must solve the challenge (Yippe said no one ever). How can you solve the problem without choking your co-worker?

Here are some tips: 

    1. Practice deep breathing: Anytime, you can a ping from the person, take a deep breath before reading it. 
    2. Guided Imagery: Keep an image on your desk, pull it out, when you have a difficult task to do and pretend you are in that picture working. You will feel a lot better. 
    3. Meditation: Have a stressful meeting – try meditating for 3 minutes before. Close your eyes and just think happy thoughts. It changes the game. 
    4. Add happy things to your office: If you feel stressed, placing plants, comfortable chairs, decorations and a fridge may just help ease you into enjoying your work time alleviating some of the stress. 
    5. Party: Don’t be a workaholic, you need the break. We all do. We are human after all. Don’t be afraid to stop work at 5 and go and hang out with friends. Forget what your boss said and let it go. How much longer can you obsessed with impressing the boss? 
    6. Alter your negative thoughts: When your boss/co-workers say something to you that you feel is rude, it may just be that they are under pressure and there is no self-reflection on you personally. So take it with a pinch of salt even though it seems like you feel like hot sauce. Easier said than done. Don’t listen critically. You know your worth. Someone doesn’t have to tell you, that you are doing a good job because it is way easier to criticize someone to make themselves feel better. But in reality, we both know, you were right!

Remember Rakstars, when encountering stress in the workplace, it is inevitable to get rid of it all. But the stress involved should not increase your risk of health issues, decrease workplace morale and productivity. Stress – will always be part of our lives – but we shouldn’t feel crippled of stress hanging on our shoulders causing intense neck pain. Know when it’s time to take a break, set your boundaries and soar to the heights you can manage. 

When you identify and understand your stress, then you can create a plan of action to reduce the amount of stress, allowing you to live your best Rakstar life! 

photo of people doing handshakes
Photo by fauxels

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