Fun Archives | The Rakstar

BOY MEETS MATH

The Rakstar — Sat, 03 Aug 2024 18:22:06 +0000

(Disclaimer: Not real. Just for laughs)

Okay, so there is the trend of girl math, but what about boy math. There has to be, is there?

Boy Math is as unique as one’s DNA, leaving the rest of us scratching our heads in disbelief. But what actually happens inside a boy’s brain. Brace yourselves – we are heading through a new world voyage.

The ‘Messometry’ Formula

This equation (by no means, will it ever make sense) attempts to quantify the inexplicable occurence of messiness in the boy’s head:

(Number of Dirty Socks on the Floor (S) + Piles of Unwashed Clothes (C)) multiplied by The Number of Days He’s Been Ignoring Chores (CH) equals the Mess Quotient (MQ).

MQ = (S + C) x CH

The higher the MQ, the greater the mystifying temptation of living in a sugared mess. Solving this equation is like trying to decipher hieroglyphics; only a chosen few can truly comprehend its delicate intricacies.

The Gaming Calculus

In the world of gaming where one must unleash their inner battle skills of strategy and logic through defying calculations, one must hop through this equation to reign supreme:

Hours Spent Playing Video Games (H) divided by Number of Deaths (N) multiplied by Volume of Battle Cries (V) equals the Ultimate Gamer Efficiency Rate (UGER).

UGER = (H / N) x V

According to no textbook ever, UGER should always exceed 1.0 for maximum gaming glory rights. In other words, the louder someone yells when they conquer a level, the higher your UGER (Shoutout to my cousins!).

The Snackgebra

Precision meets hunger over here:

Number of Chips Eaten (N) divided by the Volume of Crumbs evidently on the floor (V) equals the Snack Satisfaction Coefficient (SSC).

SSC = N/ V

A high SSC means you’ve successfully enjoyed your snacks, not caring about any of the mess that you made, making your mother really, really, really angry right and don’t forget the collateral damage to the couch. Crumbs are just evidence of a snack well executed.

The Remote Equation

Do you know where the remote control is as we speak?

Frequency of Changing the Channel (F) multiplied by Number of Lost Remote Situations (N) divided by No availability ever to share the remote (R) equals the Remoteology Index (RI).

RI = (F x N) / R

This RI should ideally be inversely proportional to the importance of the TV event. The higher the RI during the championship game, the more crazy the logic.

Rakstars, this is a mysterious yet endearing blend of mess, some strategy, lots of snacking and remote control logic. It’s an equation where we mortals may never fully grasp, but that’s okay. After all, life would be much less entertaining without the delightful ideas of Boy Math. If you are ever baffled by a boy’s mathematical approach to life, just remember to smile – you are witnessing a unique form of brilliance in action! 🕹🍕📺🧦

: Photo by Toa Heftiba Şinca

: Photo by Wallace Chuck

: Photo by EVG Kowalievska

: Photo by Pavel Danilyuk

: Photo by Karolina Kaboompics

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GIRL MEETS MATH

The Rakstar — Tue, 30 Jul 2024 01:37:43 +0000

(Disclaimer: Not true. Just for fun).

Rakstars, gather around because we’re about to focus on a trending topic of Girl Math. You know, that fancy luxurious form of mathematics that seems to defy and somehow make sense of all of that logic. It just makes sense okay! Hang tight! It’s going to be on fun ride!

Closet Math

We all love clothes, I mean, why do you think there are like a gazillion clothing stores out there! Here we have the classic “Girl Math” allure. The closet equation! If you haven’t heard of it before, It goes something like this:

Number of Outfits Owned (N) divided by Number of Times You Say “I Have Nothing to Wear” (W) multiplied by Number of Minutes Spent Staring at Your Closet (S) equals the Girl Math Constant (GMC).

GMC = (N / W) x S

The higher the GMC, the more baffling it becomes to others. It’s as if our closets are secret treasures containing infinite outfit combinations and solving this equation is the key to world domination.

The Foodie Formula

Have you heard of food-related Girl Math? Yeah, I didn’t think so. It involves crazy complex calculations like:

Number of French Fries Taken From Someone Else’s Plate (F) divided by Number of Times You Said You’d Just Have a Salad (S) equals the Guilt-Free Bite Ratio (GBR).

GBR = F / S

If your GBR exceeds 1.0, you’ve officially mastered the art of enjoying your meal without any regrets. This measures your dining satisfaction.

The Shopping Spree Sum

One of the most important branches of Girl Math is the Shopping Spree Sum.

Total Credit Card Balance (C) minus the Number of Items You Bought on Sale (N) times the Percentage of Discount (D) equals the Happiness Index (HI).

HI = C – (N x D)

The HI should always be higher than your pre-shopping excitement level. If not, you may have failed the equation, but don’t worry; there’s always next month’s shopping spree to redeem yourself.

The Gym Time Paradox

This involves difficult calculations like:

Number of Minutes Spent on the Treadmill (T) divided by Number of Minutes Complaining About Going to the Gym (G) equals the Fitness Dedication Quotient (FDQ).

FDQ = T / G

The FDQ is a powerful number that can lead to actual gym attendance or justifying that extra slice of pizza. No judgments, Rakstars. We’re flexible like that.

So Rakstars, Girl Math is the ultimate math that combines fashion, food, shopping and exercise with a sprinkle – a micro dash of irrationality. It’s an equation we all secretly (or maybe not-so-secretly) practice daily. So, embrace your inner Marie Curie and remember: when in doubt, just laugh it off, be kind and order that extra side of fries. You’re doing the math right! 😉🍟✨

: Photo by Christian Diokno

: Photo by Anna Lowe

: Photo by Andrea Piacquadio

: Photo by Tnarg

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Budgeting Made Fun: Rakstar Guide to Financial Bliss

The Rakstar — Tue, 30 Jul 2024 00:56:33 +0000

Your One and only Guide to Financial Bliss, Baby

Hey Rakstars!

Are you ready to embark on the thrilling adventure of budgeting? Sorry what…didn’t hear us… did we say budgeting. You sure are right, we did. Budgeting! The word that seems the most boring but yet the most important when it comes down to personal finance. Buckle up, because we’re about to turn that financial frown upside down.

It takes two to Tango: You and your Income

Sweet, payday – that sweet, tasty moment when your bank account experiences a momentary increase of all your sweat, blood and tears.. It’s like being rich, right? But before you start planning your next splurge on a unicorn onesie (aren’t they comfy!), let’s talk about income.

Your income is the star of your budgeting show. It’s the Beyoncé of your financial life. Calculate your salary, side hustle earnings and even that mysterious cheque you got from who was it again… was that your Aunt or a distant cousin…no wait I think she wasn’t even related to you. Total it up and voila – you are now a budgeting Rakstar, ready to jump on the stage.

: Photo by Osman Arabacı

Extravaganza Expenses

Imagine your expenses as a colorful parade of performers in a circus. They move up and down, side to side and well, they laugh and sometimes you cry. You may have heard about them as well: the rent acrobat, the utility tightrope walker and the dining-out magician (I love my food delivery apps, okay).

There are two types of expenses. One is fixed expenses and the other is variable expenses. Fixed expenses are expenses that stay the same for example these are those monthly necessities like rent, utilities and Netflix (yes, right?). You pay the same amount each month. Variable expenses are expenses that vary (see what I did there), the cost amount is never the exact same – groceries, dining out and your self-control in the shoe aisle. Track all of it down and don’t forget those debt payments. They’re like the clowns that keep popping up when you least expect them (student loans, anybody?)

Dream Big – they say!

Budgeting is not about paying your bills and hoarding coupons (Extreme couponer alert). It’s your ticket to financial freedom and dare we say, fun!

Meet your financial BFFs: Emergency Fund, Retirement Savings, and Goals (the squad, if you will).

Picture your Emergency Fund as your trusty bestie, ready to save the day when life throws darts your way. Retirement Savings? Well, that’s like planning your own epic retirement party (we must have a chocolate fountain). And those short and long-term goals? Think of them as the dreams you’re determined to turn into reality (yep, even that unicorn onesie).

The Showdown

Now that you’ve got the cast assembled, it’s time for the grand finale – the budget showdown. Add up your Total Income, Total Expenses (both fixed and variable) and your Savings and Goals. Subtract your Expenses from your Income and what do you have? Drum roll please… the Remaining Balance – your budget’s “ta-da!” moment. Another drum roll, please.

If it’s a positive number, you can do the Income Tango, baby! But if it’s negative, don’t worry, it’s not doomsday yet. We just need to think strategically so that we can get creative and figure out where we can cut back (goodbye daily Starbucks) or boost our income (hello side gig as a unicorn onesie model).

The Budgeting Dance

Here’s the boogie: Budgeting is not about living like a frugal financial hermit or denying yourself all the wonders and joys in life. It’s about making your money work and potentially dance for you, so you can savor those luxury spends.

Budgeting is a dynamic dance, it can be a Beyonce dance, a Tango, sometimes even a waltz.. Life events change, thus budgeting helps but only with practice. Just like your best dance moves. So, grab your financial partner (whether that’s a spreadsheet or an app or hey, your calculator), put on your budgeting Beyonce shoes and turn on your Rakstar moves.

And always remember, unicorns are optional, but financial bliss is a must. Happy budgeting, financial Rakstars! 🚀💰✨

: Photo by Osman Arabacı

: Photo by Mikhail Nilov

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