Toxic Relationship with Money?

So, you are in this relationship but you feel it’s one sided. They are the devil and you are the angel. There’s never going to be a happy medium. It’s always want, want, want, take, take, take and never give give give. 

But why are you in the ever never ending battle with them. You can’t afford to leave them and if you do, you will go back. You are dependent, reliant and hate it all together. 

Mr. or Ms. Money has been flowing in and out of your house. It sees other people and you can’t be angry about that because you know it has its needs. But you have your needs and you need to be taken care of. Don’t let money control you, you control money. 

Let’s face it. In a world of recessions, one point or another, we have learned growing up not to spend money. Save your money. Compare prices. Find the cheaper option. The cheaper alternative and sometimes we learn why that cheaper alternative is cheap. 

We each grew up differently, with different cultural backgrounds, experiences and at different schools. But there is one common universal theme we may have all experienced in life. Money! Whatever currency you use, there just seems to never be enough. In a way where it becomes such a quotient task, to exchange money for something else, we almost don’t see it as a chore but often as a fright of money going out and not enough coming in.

The people that don’t have a toxic relationship with money are more content, knowingly and willingly spend it where they want it, without having a single regret. 

So the question comes down to this, Rakstars, do you have a toxic relationship with money? 

Here are the signs: 

You always feel poor         

Do you walk in the mall only to window shop? You enter the store, only to walk to the back of the shop, to find the sales rack, because you are shopping solely on price. Do you ever see yourself, taking a look at the price tag and putting it down like a can of overpriced tuna? Why? Does your mind often say, “I can’t afford that. No, it’s too much.” But the rest of the customers in the store shop like it’s a boxing day sale on a typical Tuesday morning? 

You hate people who have money

You scroll on instagram to see people dressed up in such high end designer clothing. You meet up with one of your friends that just bought a new house. You watch strangers get out of their expensive sports car. But you just can’t help it but say something bad about them. Or you give them an excuse. It’s instagram – it’s probably fake. They couldn’t have bought a house on their own, they are probably renting it. That car –  they must have rich parents! 

You have a fear of spending

You just can’t seem to hand over that one dollar to the cashier for a water bottle when you are severely dehydrated because you know you can get water from the tap at home, you are only an hour away. Maybe you can hold your thirst? While you are home to release your thirst, you add water to the milk so that it lasts longer. There is a difference between frugal living and living with the stress of money.  

You are scared of letting go

You pay your bill at the very last minute because frankly, you see that the amount in the account is big, it’s nice and who would want to touch that. What if you need that money for something else, it’s all going to go in a quick click. You can’t part with your money. You like to hold on to it, like a favourite teddy bear. You can’t bear to lose it. No you can’t.

You haven’t invested in yourself

You have not gone for a vacation or bought yourself new clothes or ordered take out. You have been a little skimpy on yourself and chose to live this way because you can’t possibly spend money to make your life better, no that would be selfish of you. You work to pay the bills and that’s it. You live a robotic life. 

So if any of the above sounds like you, it’s time to rethink your relationship goals. Try to have a talk with yourself and Mr. or Ms. Money about the way you approach it. Sometimes, seeing the big picture, creating a budget and learning to spend money (small change – small steps), can break that fear of spending or using money. Try going to your local dollar store. Walk in and get something that you will definitely use like a broom, a birthday card for a friend or simply candy for yourself. Practice the art of spending. There’s nothing scary about it. Turning this toxic relationship to a synergistic relationship will not only help you not be fearful but will make you one step closer to your financial freedom.

Avoiding the issue will not let you get to where you want to be. Only through education and knowledge can you somehow get past the sweating palm of handing cash over and make you comfortable with letting go. 

So Rakstars, make this relationship work for you and not against you.