How to Deal with a Difficult Manager? Don’t Sink, SWIM!
IN ROUGH WATERS? We feel you!
Working with a difficult manager can be a real test of your patience and we are here for you. Seriously! Whether they’re overly demanding, micro-managing, or just plain tough to communicate with, aka rude, dealing with a manager who only cares about themselves can be a struggle. But fear not! There is a way to maintain your professionalism and sanity.
Why Managers Can Be Difficult?
Before we jump into how to deal with a manager, it’s a good way to look at it from a holistic approach. Since we are full of empathy, let’s put ourselves in there shoes – even though we don’t want to – let’s try it.
Picture yourself as your manager. Did you get the shivers? We sure did. Okay now let’s try to think about why managers exhibit difficult behaviour. Could they be stressed, pressured by their bosses or a lack of proper training (etiquette) or do they just simply don’t know leadership skills? Maybe they are having personal issues outside of work (which is not fair since they should keep their professionalism in check but at the end of the day people are human and sometimes they can’t help it.) Since your boss is a human (at least we think), their actions might not always be a reflection of your performance. So do not take it to heart. Okay now remove yourself as your boss and think of yourself as you.
Defence Mechanism: Stay Professional and Calm at All Times
When faced with a difficult manager, the first rule is to be composed like Queen Elizabeth II. Emotional reactions often escalate conflicts. Instead, take a deep breath, stay calm and approach the situation with professionalism and a calm manner like you are walking on a trail. All is good and all is calm. Maintaining your composure can help defuse tense interactions and show that you know what you’re talking about. You are royal after all.
London Bridge is Falling Down – Quick Bridge the Gap
Effective communication is the key to resolving any conflicts with a difficult manager. Schedule a private conversation to discuss your concerns/conflict calmly and professionally. Try to use “I” statements. This can help to express your feelings and experiences, such as “I feel overwhelmed when I receive tasks at the last minute,” rather than blaming them for their poor time management skills.
Set Clear Expectations
Make sure your manager understands your workload as well make sure you communicate to them your workload. Your limitations and the time you need to complete tasks can vary from person to person and sometimes maybe most of the time, your manager tends to underestimate how long a task can take. If you take longer than what you expected, explain to your manager that you are learning how to do it or that you are working at a pace that is reasonable to you. Set clear expectations by discussing priorities, deadlines and realistic timelines. When both parties are on the same page, it can reduce misunderstandings and conflicts. Do not overpromise and pretend like you are the smartest person in the room, they expect more which can lead to you being burntout. Under promise but over deliver. They will like you more.
Document Everything and I mean Everything – Create a Paper Trail
Keep a record of your interactions with your manager, including any emails, meeting notes and conversations. This becomes handy when you need to pull up those receipts. This is absolutely important if you need to escalate the issue to HR or your boss’s boss. It also helps to have evidence in case there are any discrepancies or any misunderstandings.
Seek Support and Guidance from Others
Sometimes, discussing the situation with colleagues, mentors, or possibly HR can provide insight and support. You may just hear advice or solutions that you hadn’t considered before, helping you navigate the situation. For instance, join committees such as the Professional Women’s Network or the social committee and through these clubs, seek out to find a mentor if your company doesn’t provide it already. Ask someone you look up to – go for a coffee with them each month. Get to know them, learn from them and ask for advice – if they are willing and wanting to support you.
When All Else Fails
If you can’t handle the situation anymore, you can always consider other options. Try to transfer to a different department, find a new job, or explore opportunities elsewhere. Your mental, emotional and overall well-being should be your number one priority. Always Rakstars, always.
You Can Win Over a Difficult Manager
Handling a tough boss is hard and something we’d rather avoid, but it’s not impossible. You’ve got this! Stay professional, talk openly, make your expectations clear, keep records of your interactions, ask for help, and think about your choices. These steps can help you take charge of the situation and keep your cool at work. Remember Rakstars, you can beat any hurdles in your way and keep moving forward in your career. We’re rooting for you!
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- Photo by Paola Malpica
